In Which I Get Smashed (And Not in a Good Way)

On the day after my birthday (Happy birthday, I guess 👍) I went for my super souped-up mammogram and ultrasound. I could spare the details, but where's the fun in that? I think everyone should be as uncomfortable as I was.

I went into the radiology area where they perform mammograms, in which the waiting area is nicely decorated to look like someone's house with comfy chairs, wallpaper and wooden chair rails; I think it's supposed to be more soothing than a normal clinical waiting room. I was given two gowns, one for the front and one for the back and I think I kept my pants on. Of COURSE HGTV was on the waiting room TV because, seriously, what else do women watch, I guess? They did have a nice little bucket of Halloween candy. I enjoyed a KitKat while I waited.

I get into the screening room, and the tech is super nice. We get through the normal mammogram, squishing me and posing me in awkward positions because, hey my boobs are small so it takes some effort to get them all in the plate PLUS some of the muscle wall (Ouch). Now, it's time for the diagnostic part. She switched out the flat plate with a plate with a profile like this: ---__--- where the lower part would exert more pressure on the area of concern (ie, smash the shit out of the lump) and it HURT.

She left the room to consult with the radiologist (MD) and then came back and told me that they wanted MORE pictures. See the above paragraph and read it two more times.

After the mammogram was done, I went into the ultrasound room, which was nice and dark and kind of soothing, and I may have dozed off for a minute waiting for the tech. She had pre-warmed the gel. PRE-WARMED GEL is the best thing ever. 

So the ultrasound takes at least a half-hour and then the tech goes to see if the radiologist needs more images; of course she does, so here we go again. The next time was a lot shorter than the original, so that was good.

After the tech left the room, she came back with the radiologist, who then told me that she couldn't tell exactly what was going on from the mammogram and the ultrasound, so she was going to recommend I go in for a biopsy.

After my stomach was done sinking, I called the next day and scheduled it.