In Which I Go to a Long Overdue Appointment

In October, right before my birthday, I had a regular gynecological appointment--pelvic exam, pap smear, etc.

Granted it had been a few years since my previous exam (I was riding that wave of Pap Smears every 5 if you don't have any weird results ever) so I also hadn't gone for my mammograms because SERIOUSLY, who likes those? Were they invented by men? Clearly, because they get a blood test to check for prostate function-their junk isn't getting squashed between two glass plates and then radiated. 

At any rate, during my breast exam my doctor confirmed the mass that I'd felt and was one of the reasons I came in to get my appointment (finally). Based on just what he could feel, he scheduled me for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. 

Lately, my life feels like a game of, "Fortunately/Unfortunately." Fortunately, all of my pap tests came back normal and HPV strains are all negative. Unfortunately, you have to get this super upgraded mammogram and extra smashing.

Hooray?